SEEEEXXX PLEASE
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
