I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
