it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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