ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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