Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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