my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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