so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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