it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
