you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
