im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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