did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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