They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
