he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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