Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
