why didn't you poke me back
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Randomize
