Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Just cropdusted the office
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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