You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
