i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
