you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
