He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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