Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
