Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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