Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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