i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
