this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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