Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
