I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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