I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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