Whoa Z and x make the same sound
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
