God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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