please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
