Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize