They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
