I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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