All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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