I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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