playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
