The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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