Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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