17 year olds will be the death of me.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
