that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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