We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Vodka?
Forever.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I came so hard my ears popped.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
