Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
BRING THE BAGELS
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
