that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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