Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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