I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
