then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize