This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
