Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
so let's talk penis.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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