i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
