Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I fill condoms, not promises.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
