It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
