its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
