We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I did not marry a roomba.
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