I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Terrible idea I love it
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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