I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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