just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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