A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
