dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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