I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize