Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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