so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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