New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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