So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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