I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Hippo gnu deer
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
