Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize